I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
