Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
