what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
