I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My balls are so social today.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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