Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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