After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
