I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize