Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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