Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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