You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize