so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
