You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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