I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
