I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize