Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
