Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
