Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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