Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
