So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
