I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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