I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
