May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize