just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Randomize
