i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just high enough for therapy.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize