Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.

(860): View more from Connecticut

My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything

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(856): View more from New Jersey

it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU

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(813): View more from Florida

It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.

(407): View more from Florida

That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!

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