Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
