I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
3pm strippers are depressing
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Holy shit dude........stairs
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
