whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
