ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we're chasing vodka with high fives
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
