Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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