it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
