You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
