i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize