I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
