never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
