His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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