That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
