She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
