whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
