i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
