Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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