Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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