my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize