Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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