my vag is so smooth its legendary
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
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