what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
