so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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