i think i have herpe
just one?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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