bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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