Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
