It's a beautiful day for a hangover
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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