Duck Duck Cougar?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
