Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
