Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
