were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
