Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
