i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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