I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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