weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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