Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
