if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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