Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
