do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
