from now on my penis is your penis
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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